KonMari Method Checklist: 5-Step Cheat Sheet ...

This is an observation, take it or leave it.
I'm noticing how some people here bristle at the very roots of what Marie Kondo is teaching.
These past couple days, I've had people in this sub try to convince me that listening to a podcast is helpful while sorting papers; and that removing labels from things is a horrible idea that will lead to certain death by food poisoning or whatever. I've had similar encounters in the past but I don't remember all the details, so please don't take this as a personal attack, it's a general observation about lots of posts/replies I've read.
I'm assuming we're all here because we want to learn/share about Konmari... and yet every thread has people claiming "well Konmari is great, but you don't need to do things that way if you don't want to." Some people are all worked up about "removing labels from everything," which clearly is not what Marie Kondo is advocating for. Nobody's going to cut the writing off their juice carton before putting it in the fridge, lol.
What I'm saying is, Konmari is not just "decluttering," and it's not flexible at its core. It's not like other approaches to cleaning out stuff. It's a well-thought-out, structured approach with specific steps and specific concepts. It has a whole life philosophy behind it which is vastly different from what most (all?) of us grew up with. It really is different, which is the reason it's magical.
Konmari requires a willingness to really listen to what Marie Kondo is saying, and a willingness to put aside our own convictions about how things can/should be done. It requires practice, and yes it's really hard work. But if you tinker with the method to make it easier; if you're looking for shortcuts, or if you ignore the basic principles behind it, then you're diluting its message and therefore you're stripping it of its power. You're going to lose the very essence of what makes it work so well. You have a choice: you can do it right ONCE and be done for life; or you can continue shuffling clutter back and forth forever, and wondering why it's not working.
There's a reason we're all here, right? It's because the other approaches we've tried to get rid of clutter permanently, and to have the joyful lives we deserve, don't work. Konmari, done right, allows us to completely relearn how to deal with the stuff in our lives. It allows us to achieve lasting positive change. Which, by definition, means that we need to change our very thinking.
For everyone who's new here, or who's struggling along the way, I really recommend (re)reading the book, because Marie Kondo wrote it for a reason. The Netflix show is fun, but it doesn't really teach you how Konmari works. Neither does this sub if you haven't read the book.
If you're stuck on something, don't come here looking for someone to tell you that you don't really need to follow all those uncomfortable rules. They're uncomfortable for a reason, and that's because they force us to work through all the emotional baggage we have accumulated around our belongings. Make a commitment to working through the process as it was designed, because it was designed that way on purpose. Marie Kondo has already done the trial and error part for us.
I, too, fought some things for a while. In fact, my sister-in-law literally had to force me to read the book, because I thought I knew better. But I finally decided that I had tried "my own way" long enough, and that it clearly wasn't working. So I chose to try on some humility for a change, and to just accept and go with what Marie Kondo is teaching. I couldn't be happier with the results.
So I really recommend setting your own ideas aside and just giving the method an honest try. Konmari really is life-changing, and it leads to amazing and PERMANENT results. But you need to put in the work to see those results, and the work starts with reading the book and then following, and I really mean following, the steps. And if you're stuck, get the book out again and re-read it. I guarantee you will find the answers.
Have a great day.

On Being Pretty

Something I really appreciate about the Konmari method is that it brings you closer to the person you are, not the person you think you should be.
I was looking through Snapchat memories yesterday and saw all these photos from my life working in a corporate office. I noticed how PRETTY I looked. And I noticed that I don’t own a single article of clothing from those photos anymore. I started to feel regret. Like “Wow I looked so pretty in those clothes, and I got rid of them!! What am I doing?!”
And then, a reality check. I HATED my job then. I HATED my life then. I was so depressed. I used beauty, amongst other things, as a coping mechanism to keep me distracted.
And now? I’m not distracted at all. Im 100% sober. I’m completely invested in a career that I love. And I wear clothes that bring me joy, which are clothes that my body feels comfortable in.
So yeah, I think I do look less “pretty” now. But I also have so much more meaning in my life now. I get to wake up every day and think “I love my life,” even when things are hard. Because I know I’m surrounding myself with things that I love, and things that are important to me. Maybe one day I’ll add prettiness to my list of priorities again. But for now, it’s just not there.
“You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked female.” — Erin McKean

A horrible apartment made me abandon my attachment to my objects

I’ll start this off by being completely honest: I have yet to work through the konmari method. I started reading the book before we moved, but my old apartment was so far gone that it would’ve been impossible to follow anything (plus, moving is already very stressful in and of itself)!
I know that one of the hardest parts of the method is detaching yourself emotionally from objects that you don’t really like. It’s like you love the idea of the object more than the object itself. I’ve dealt with this off and on while moving over the years, but this past time, I think I finally conquered the problem.
I ended up in an apartment with roaches. It looked perfectly fine from the outside, but once we moved in they were already in there. There were other bugs as well that were a problem, but given the unfortunate hardiness of roaches, we had to be very selective about what to take with us.
I probably threw out at least 2/3 of my items and almost all of my clothes, aside from maybe 10 outfits. I saved a few regular wears that I don’t love (which I plan to donate and replace now that they’re cleaned and totally fine), but I also saved the only two pieces of clothing that spark not just joy, but confidence.
I still probably have too many items around here that don’t bring me joy, but now I have a much more manageable amount. I definitely had to toss a dumpster’s worth of items/clothes, if not more. That’s a dumpster’s worth of weight off my shoulders.
So my tip: if you really have a hard time deciding what sparks joy, imagine that in one day you had to bag up the items you really loved to save them from roaches and everything else had to go. And imagine that each item you bring has the potential to house a bug. Pretty quickly you’ll realize that those knick-knacks and old books and clothes from college don’t mean so much.
Also, inevitably I always have people ask why I didn’t donate, so just preemptively throwing out there that there’s no way any charity wants to handle clothes or objects that could be infested. It was for the best.

Nostalgia Declutter Success (Konmari/Pokemon cards)

While this success was a few months ago, it occurred to me to share it now. Thank you to those who helped on a previous post.
A few months ago I was looking through my old things to declutter. I had successfully decluttered many old nostalgic inducing things (high school sweatshirts, Tees, pictures etc) but there are 2 item sets that I have never been able to part with. First was my old video games and subject of this post my Pokémon cards.
I am 29F, with no intention of ever setting down to collect them ever again, but I could NEVER part with my cards previously because of the huge emotional attachment I had to them. I had spent SO MANY HOURS collecting, sorting, discussing (but oddly never playing with) them. I loved them dearly, had great memories associated with them. And after meticulously taking care of them I didn’t want to part with them. Hand me down wise, I couldn’t bear to see some 10 year old kid destroy (play) with them as I had seen my previous hand me downs abused (RIP Polly Pockets)
Eventually though I realized Konmari’s method of thanking things was appropriate and a friend of mine recommended a comic book store that also sold Pokémon cards. I took my whole binder of them in, and let them assess their worth. $300. A fraction of what I had likely spent on them... but I wasn’t doing it for the money, so much as to make sure my babies were rehomed to people who would take care of them as proudly as I had. Could I have resold them for more? Sure. But then that would require investing way more time than necessary and would have been an arduous process seeing how people valued things I had invaluable emotional attachments too.
In the end I held onto 3 Pokémon cards. My prized Charizard, Gyrados, and a Ponyta (first card I ever got, and the one that got me into Pokémon to start with). I have the 3 in nice little protective cases on a shelf facing my bed. I see them now more than I ever did when they were shut away in a binder. And while I did have a good cathartic cry in my car after the deal was done... I can say now it was worth it. The guilt is off my shoulders, the burden gone, and the 3 I kept spark enough joy and prod my memories enough that the nostalgia is not gone.
I hope someone else can use this post to declutter even items they think they could never be without.
I promise once the objects are gone, so is the guilt.

Explaining the difference between KonMari and decluttering...

Feeling a disconnect with my possessions due to COVID parameters

Tidying with small child(ren)

We're finally letting go of the accumulated stuff

When we began trying to have children, we were hopeful. We were married for 5 years before actively trying for kids, but it was always part of the plan. It shaped where we chose to live, the jobs we took, and even in the friendships we spent time cultivating. Before throwing out the birth control, we'd even started two collections; a library of children's books and LEGO sets.
I'd been collecting children's books since I was in elementary school. Scholastic book fairs would mean $1 books, and I'd happily hand over my birthday money to accumulate endless copies of cute books I hoped my children would someday enjoy. I didn't have my own books at home, so starting something like this felt like the best way to start out motherhood on the right foot. When I met my future husband, one of our earliest conversations was about hopes for the future and how that involved children. I was 16, and already had full names picked out. My husband embraced my enthusiasm for children in his own way, and when we got married my propensity for creating a collection for those children led to him curating what he'd most enjoy sharing: LEGO.
As with any collection, we started small. If we saw a cute set on sale at Target, we'd add it to our cart. If friends and family were unsure of what to gift us for Christmas or Birthdays, we'd answer "anything LEGO" and genuinely mean it. We also enjoy LEGO ourselves, so we spent a great deal of time and money on bigger and more meaningful sets for ourselves. But, the main focus of our collection was always to share it with our family. My husband had visions of co-creating a massive city with the kids and negotiating if the collectible minifigs should only be displayed or could be enjoyed as toys. Being a collector by nature, we would sometimes compromise and get two of something - one to play with and one to display.
As the years went on, we continued collecting sets. We also ventured into collecting loose bricks from people selling on Craigslist or at conventions, again with the hope of building a massive city. As a couple, we enjoyed building some of the larger City Creator sets that started our city, but neither of us could bring ourselves to actually making anything else. Instead, we kept buying LEGO a little bit at a time and putting it in our designated LEGO room of the house.
As you can imagine, over a decade of slowly collecting resulted in us having hundreds of unopened sets and many, MANY pounds of loose bricks. The enormous LEGO collection actually factored into our plans when we moved. We wanted a large room to store the collection as well as the promised LEGO city, and we found a house that gave us what we needed. Interestingly, having to put every unopened LEGO set into one room fully opened our eyes to the reality - we'd gone too far. Every time we'd felt any emotion around trying to have children, we'd soothed that pain with buying something for our future kids. Sometimes it was books, sometimes it was toys, clothes, or other necessities (yes, at one point I'd even gone as far as buying a changing table because of the massive discount). But mostly we'd bought LEGO. And by we, I actually mean me. Sure, my husband bought a good amount of it (especially the loose bricks). But, every time I felt guilty for not being able to get or stay pregnant, I'd buy a LEGO set for him (sometimes even knowing he wouldn't necessarily want it, but our kids probably would). And over 8 years of actively trying and being unable to stay pregnant, I had a lot of guilt.
When it finally came time to let go of our dream of having children, I made peace with a lot of the items I'd acquired. I happily donated every last outfit, pack and play, toys, and even the entire library of books I'd been saving since childhood (giving quite a few of these things to friends having children helped). It wasn't easy, but it felt like the right thing to do and I was able to see children enjoying them. When it came to the LEGO, though, I struggled. My husband struggled even more.
We're nerdy people who enjoy comic book conventions and collectibles. Some of our best memories involve hunting down specific minifigs or scoring a fantastic deal. We also still love LEGO, and have many of the bigger sets on display around our house. But building a LEGO city for ourselves isn't something we want anymore, and that's been hard to accept. From an outside perspective, our lives without children are simply going to continue as they always have. We never had children, so what's the actual loss there, right? But for us, our entire relationship has always been built on this potential future. And as we're coming to terms with our future being just us, it's shaken our identities to our core. Do we really even like LEGO? Are all the collectibles we've gotten over the years just an attempt to fill that inner void? Did we waste all this time, energy, and money for nothing? These aren't necessarily the nicest or most helpful of questions, but it's where we've been. We've both been living in this state of future plans and, after being forced to stop and really pay attention to who we are in the here and now, we're kind of lost.
After some soul searching this last year, we've largely come to the conclusion that we DO still really enjoy LEGO. But, it's time to embrace the KonMari method and only keep what sparks joy. My husband's UCS Millenium Falcon is a work of art, and you can pry my VW Bus from my cold, dead fingers. A lot of the rest of it, especially the minifigures, are things that we're slowly allowing to move on.
We started this re-homing process over Christmas, when we packed up about 150 sets (most of them city sets) and donated them to Toys for Tots. Covid has definitely had an impact on who is accepting donations, but even if this were normal times I'm not sure how trusting a nonprofit would be to a random person emailing them "hey, I have hundreds of LEGO sets - you want any?" We want these sets to fulfill the purpose we originally got them for; to be enjoyed by children. There are a few larger sets I intend to donate to a local LEGO User Group, but we both want to avoid the reseller market where we can. Even though we've given up on having children, we know we'd both feel terrible to just get them out of the house without care. The bricks deserve better than that, because each one had meaning to us.
So what's our plan now? To find homes for the new in box sets with local organizations (and friends' children), something that will be much easier once things have calmed down with the pandemic. As for the loose bricks, we're going to take LEGO up on their amazing program for recycling: LEGO Replay! (https://givebackbox.com/lego/#). You fill out your email and zip code, print out a shipping label, box up loose LEGO bricks, and drop the box off at FedEx. They have a program in place to wash and distribute bricks to children's organizations around the country (with other opportunities for any bricks that are broken).
I know they're just LEGO bricks, but for us they've been so much more. They were hope. They represented our future. We're grateful we even had the ability to amass something as ridiculous of a problem as this, and now it is our way of saying goodbye. Literally, piece by piece.

Do you listen to music?

Having a lot of trouble with Paper

Hi, need to vent. I just can't seem to get myself to continue going through the paper category. I gathered everything into a pile, organized them by type, and even went through several notebooks and binders worth but once I stopped (after 8 hours) I couldn't get myself to keep going.
I have so many old course materials that have sentimental value even though I know I don't need them. Some of them are from my degree in college, some are from classes in grade school. Some are even about practical things like personal finance and idk if I'll need them. I just can't see myself getting rid of some of them, and some I'd actually feel guilty if I did.
The other thing is I have a chronic illness and need to keep track of my doctors appointments and such, but I have no idea how to organize these and store them with the KonMari method. In fact, the are a ton of papers I simply have no idea what category they go into. Like a takeout menu. Business cards for old doctors you're not sure if you should keep because for some reason sometimes you need to remember their name. A letter from your bank telling you features about your credit card. I have a terrible memory, I definitely can't rely on it for stuff like that. How and where does she store receipts? All she says in her books is she empties them out of her purse everyday and puts them somewhere.
Plus, sometimes you learn info about yourself that you forgot about by going through your old stuff. Once it's thrown out you can't do that anymore. Sometimes you even lose important info like the dates where your started and ended your old job and suddenly your health insurance wants proof you worked there.
I don't know, I just don't know what I'm doing in this category and I feel incredibly lost. I was upset that it wasn't very detailed in the books, but I seem to be the only one I know having trouble understanding how everything fits in the 3 categories.
When do things transition from being stored shortterm to longterm? Where would you put a letter of rejection from a bank and their reasoning? A thank you letter from a donation center that you kind of want to save but don't know what to do with?
What if I adopt the KonMari for my papers and get rid of so much that I have no way of looking into the past and seeing who I was then, if I needed to. You forget things like how often you went to a certain restaurant in college, the amount you owe after you pay off a debt. Just info that reminds you who you were. I don't know.
I'm just having a really hard time with this one.

My girlfriend started the KonMari method of tidying up. She's starting to freak me out

My girlfriend started the KonMari method of tidying up a few weeks ago.
At first, I thought it was a good thing. She'd been notoriously messy through most of our relationship, and I was constantly having to pick up after her. Once she started KonMari, she started donating all her useless crap, and generally kept things tidy.
Things went south when she got obsessive about it.
I found her sitting in the middle of the kitchen at 1 am a few nights ago. All our pots and pans, cookie scoops and George Foreman grills, were arrayed around her like she was holding a seance for Julia Child.
"What are you doing?"
"We don't need these things," she said, distantly, not making eye contact with me.
"Actually, we do. I use that pot all the time to cook that fancy macaroni and cheese--"
She turned to me, slowly, her eyes locking on mine. "They do not spark joy."
I was going to argue with her. That this had gone too far. But it was 1 am, and I needed to get up early for work tomorrow. "Okay, whatever. Do what you want with your stuff, but not mine."
I woke up to an empty kitchen.
Overnight she'd gotten rid of over 90% of the kitchen's contents. The only things that remained were 4 dishes, one set (!) of silverware, and the one pot I'd told her to keep.
"How do you expect us to eat?" I asked, furious. "You only kept one set of silverware. One. How are we going to eat at the same time?"
"There are two forks," she said, in calm monotone.
"But one's a shitty salad fork. I'm not eating with that."
"Then, I will." She closed her eyes and leaned her head back in the recliner. "We didn't need it, Robert."
"You're not the judge of my stuff. I did need that stuff. All of it."
"You'll find you're happier without it."
I glanced at the clock. 7:25--dammit, I was going to be late for work. "I have to get to work. But we are going to talk about this tonight."
She nodded.
***
But we didn't talk about it. She worked late on a project she was behind on--probably because of all the tidying--and we ended up going to sleep without talking.
It was 2 am when I woke up with a start.
At first, I wasn't sure what had woken me. But then a scratching sound came from behind me. Like something dragging along the sheets.
I was about to turn around, but then I heard a whisper.
"Does it spark joy?"
A light touch on my back.
I froze. I wanted to turn around, but something like fear kept me locked in place.
"Does it spark joy does it spark joy does it spark joy?" A frenzied, fast whisper.
A finger stroked through my hair--then caressed my cheek. But it wasn't a loving caress, a caress I'd felt during kisses or cuddles or lovemaking. It was an analytical touch--robotic--cold--like a machine.
What the hell is she doing? As I lay there, I tried to convince myself that she was playing a prank on me. But she doesn’t know I’m awake. It’s 2 am. And she’s never played even the tiniest prank on me before.
Her hands prodded against my back. Icy cold.
Fear shot through me. But I stayed perfectly still. Don’t let her know you’re awake. That was the only thing I could think. Stay still. Don’t move a muscle.
The mattress shifted, and I felt something tickle my face.
No.
It was her hair. She was hanging above me. Knees on either side of my torso, leaning right over my face. Her long, straight blonde hair draped over my cheeks. I didn't dare open my eyes, but I could imagine her face hovering above mine. Dark eyes boring into my soul.
"Does it spark joy?" she whispered, her breath warm on my neck. I felt her nose brush against my cheek, a finger stroke my ear.
"No."
The bed creaked and shifted. My eyes flashed open for a second, and I saw her rolling off of me. She pulled the covers over herself, snuggled against her pillow, and went back to sleep.
I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. When she left for work, I called in sick and stayed home. Now I'm packing up my things--what little is left of them--and making plans to live with a buddy for a while.
I do not spark joy.
I can't stay here.

Fear of removing something that doesn’t spark joy because it may spark joy later? Seeking advice.

Question: how many papers do you really need?

TL;DR: My dad still has a completely full three drawer filing cabinet and one whole bookshelf full of papers. Is this too much? It does bother me, but him a lot more as he works from home, surrounded by these papers, and he often complains that our house is too messy, but then is unwilling to pare down himself. My mum is the same, but the things she hoards would probably come under miscellaneous and clothing. Does anyone have advice to help them?
As many know, trying to Konmari with an unwilling family is very difficult, which is why the process in my family has gone on for 3 years. I have three siblings - two of us (including myself) finished within a year or so, but my parents have still not finished. I realised through this journey they tend to hoard, and what drives me mad is that they complain about the mess in our house but aren’t willing to change themselves.
I really need to rant about my dad, but also ask a question: how many papers do we really need?
He is an accountant (not sure if this is a contributing factor), but I just can’t understand how he actually needs this many papers. I finally convinced him to go through them, and when he said he finished I was so thrilled, ready to look at the hopefully smaller amount. And yet we still have one entire bookcase and a three drawer filing cabinet completely full! I don’t get it! Am I overreacting? How much do others still have after doing the Konmari method?
In the past I’ve asked why he needs so many and he gets angry and says he can’t get rid of any of it. I also don’t think he looks at every piece of paper - he says he knows what’s in a file, but that doesn’t mean he automatically knows he needs everything in it. This wouldn’t bother me if it weren’t for the fact that it bothers him - he works at home, and he always complains that our house is so cluttered, and I just wish he would try to pare down so his workspace wouldn’t be so chaotic.
Any help is much appreciated!

My Minimalist Kitchen Declutter (Silent Vlog) 🥐

Visualizing my joyful (digital) lifestyle

TLDR: I'm starting a digital konmari tidying festival because my digital lifestyle is a time suck. I think getting my digital life in order will help me, but how does one "envision" what they want for their digital life with literally so many digital things, apps, etc? What steps have you taken to organize your digital life?
Soooo....
I've been thinking about doing the Konmari process with my digital clutter for a while now. I completed the konmari process with my physical items a few years ago, and honestly its been amazing. I really feel like I have the joyful rituals of my day down and have a good grasp on the physical items I surround myself with.
But now, a big part of my life is online/digital now - I work from home and my laptop serves as my actual work workspace and my personal work space (paying bills, editing photos, writing, zoom calls with friends/fam). I'm pretty on top of being able to disconnect (close my laptop, keep my phone away ) and enjoy activities happening in "real life" but when I get back online to work, do personal tasks, or just scroll social media - UGH. It's just a mess. I feel like my time is wasted because I'm surrounded by so much digital clutter - so I really feel like my digital lifestyle needs attention and would like to apply the konmari method.
There are literally so many components to digital life, I've found it hard to visualize how I want my digital lifestyle to look like and how before I start the process. I think ultimately, I want to feel like the digital components of my life are useful tools, joyful, engaging but not addicting,
Its kinda helped me to start visualizing by breaking out what categories of my digital lifestyle need attention, but I'm overwhelmed just thinking of the categories:

Emails - SoOoO many emails every day - work emails, personal emails, junk emails. I'll probably just delete them all, start fresh, and come up with a new system that works for me.
Apps - I need to do an audit of the phone apps I enjoy using or find useful, and delete the others.
Social Media - I enjoy using social media, but I feel like my time is wasted because I follow soooo many people. Time to delete those old HS acquaintances and coworkers I wouldn't actually want to talk to in real life, clean up my profiles (aka, delete embarrassing photos or posts), unfollow the influencers who don't add meaningful content to my life, and unfollow the family members who share conspiracy theories, etc.
Contacts - Phone contacts pile up surprisingly quick - will I need to call that neighbor who used to pick up my mail and then moved 3 years ago, or that guy that ghosted me senior year of college? Def not so why TF do I still have these??
Accounts and passwords - I should probably know what accounts I have set up, and stop using the same password for all of them like a real adult who values real online security lolol. Password manager maybe??
Music/Podcasts - Why do I follow tons of podcasts people have recommended to me that I don't even listen to? I feel like this is like the "books" category - if I haven't listened to that podcast my coworker told me about 2 years ago, I'm probably not interested in listening to it.
Document Organization - I need a system for my work documents, personal project documents, old college papers, sensitive info documents, random iPhone notes - I've been doing research on a secure cloud options so my online papers I need to keep can match the physical organization I have set up for things like taxes, but why hold on to old documents that I'm neverrr going to open again?
Calendar - Too many of my "to-dos" feel like they weigh on my mind, when I should just block off time to do them or set up reminders to do things like scheduling doctors appointments, sending out birthday cards, medicine reminders. Actually getting this stuff in my calendar is key.
Photos - I feel like this is the sentimental category and just a HUGE undertaking. I have photos everywhere, different clouds, an old computer, a few drives, a few printed photos I want to have digitized, I know I need to get them all in one place to start (like piling up clothes) and then open each one and decide if it sparks joy and THEN organize them - but I'm exhausted just thinking about this.

Have you tackled all of your digital clutter in a konmari style method? Can you share your secrets on how you did it? What other digital categories did you tackle?

The konmari divorce: Does this method of "Tidying up" apply to relationships?

https://preview.redd.it/pwnxl9ii6fc61.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83fe20ebef8098a93dcfedc0045883c8d0903d50
When you reach out and touch your “life partner,” and you are faced with the harsh realization that there is no more “joy,” is it time to say “thank you” and move on?
I’ve owned “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” by Marie Kondo, for several years now, and have read most of it. I was more recently intrigued with the new Netflix series that has inspired tons of blog posts and funny Facebook memes. Inspired to give the KonMari method a try, I tackled my closet. I gathered all my clothes into a pile. I touched each item, and determined whether it brought me joy or not. If not, I said “thank you” to the item, and either threw it out in the garbage, or in one of eighteen bags I ended up hauling out for donation. It was an extended purge session that lasted over a weekend. I experienced the joy of an uncluttered closet and dresser.
This exercise made me think about all the other areas of my life which are cluttered – including some relationships that aren’t “sparking joy”. How would it feel to untether the strained friendship that is no longer fun, or the strained relationships with hired helpers who aren’t helping so much, or gulp, the strained marriage. There have certainly been times during our twenty years of marriage when my marriage has not “sparked joy” in my life. I’m thankful we are still finding ways to make our marriage work, which is an important part of our journey.
Just because a marriage isn’t “sparking joy,” doesn’t mean it’s time to toss it to the curb. However, it is an indicator that you need to get real with your situation, and see if you can invest in your relationship to transform it into the marriage your heart and soul desire.
Here are some thoughts to consider when it comes to applying the KonMari method in relationships:

Relationships are not “stuff.” Relationships ebb and flow. There are times when they bring great joy, and times when you feel distant and removed. Just because a relationship is not bringing you “joy” in the moment, doesn’t mean it’s time to bag it up and stick it out on the curb.
Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship, there are some relationships that are for a season in life. If you are feeling drawn to maintaining relationships that seem to suck the joy from your life, then perhaps it is time to ask yourself “why” you are surrounding yourself with people who drain you instead of nurture you? Healthy relationships sustain mutual giving and taking over time. On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship might be one where you feel like you are always giving, and the other person is always taking. Consider what benefits you derive from such a relationship, and whether it’s better for you to keep on giving, or to offer gratitude and move on. Letting go of “things” is good practice for recognizing that there are some relationships that are also okay to let go of.
The point of a committed relationship is to commit to sticking it out, even when the relationship doesn’t bring you “happiness” or “spark joy.” If you are someone who values commitment, the fact that your relationship no longer brings you joy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to call it quits! It might be a sign that it’s time to reinvest yourself into your partnership – to take action to reignite the spark of joy.

Undoubtedly, there are some committed relationships that must come to an end. It takes two to make a relationship work, and if one person has checked-out of the relationship, it may be too late no matter what you do to resurrect a dead relationship. There are also some relationships that thrive on disfunction, chaos and conflict. In these circumstances, leaving a toxic relationship may bring peace and an opportunity for healing.
If you or someone you know is considering ending a marriage relationship that no longer brings joy, one of the best things you can do is to make an informed decision about whether you can reignite the spark of joy in your marriage.
“Discernment Counseling,” is designed to help the partners assess whether or not divorce is the right solution. Through a limited period of sessions, with an agenda that is NOT MARRIAGE THERAPY, the couple can gain clarity together on their situation, and move forward knowing they are making the best decision for their family. Learn more about Discernment Counseling at TheMarriagePlace.com.
When it comes to making an informed decision, it can also be extremely helpful to gain a better understanding about what you might expect should you decide to divorce your spouse. It is important to understand the divorce process, and the options available when pursuing a divorce, as well as the possible outcomes you might expect to obtain in a divorce. Too often, people have unrealistic expectations or unfounded fears, and their ideas about divorce are incorrect. Your circumstances are unique – so gaining insight by a knowledgeable and experienced family law attorney familiar with the courts and customs in your area is the best way to make sure you have the necessary information to make the best decision for your future.
If you live in North Texas, contact Hargrave Family Law for a consultation. We have celebrated with many clients who were able to reignite joy in their marriage and avoid divorce, as well as those who have decided to end a painful relationship and begin a new chapter.
About Jennifer Stanton Hargrave:
Jennifer Stanton Hargrave is an experienced family trial attorney, and is especially skilled at helping clients construct creative settlement agreements, and the owner of Hargrave Family Law. Jennifer knows in family law, there are battles that need to be fought, yet every divorce does not need to end in warfare. Jennifer is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, and a member of the Texas Academy of Family Law Specialists, the Dallas Bar Family Law Section and the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas. She is frequently recognized by her peers as a respected family law attorney, having been named one of the Top 50 Women Lawyers in Texas, by Super Lawyers, Best Lawyers by U.S. News & World Report, D Magazine’s Best Lawyers, and many more. Jennifer is also married to Jeffrey for over twenty years, and the mother to three children.
Learn more - https://themarriageplace.com

Minimalism can become toxic for your mind. Be careful.

I started following minimalism in late 2017. I went all in and soon enough it became an essential part of my method of doing a detox. Here I've talked about how I go through dopamine detox konmari style. Eventually, I became more aware of my usage of everything whether it was my wardrobe, my gadgets, apps, or skin-hair care products. I was surprised that it was actually reducing my stress. Take a moment to just imagine your daily routine; what are the few things that you think about every day which aren't really benefiting you in any way but you've to make decisions about, every day. Deciding what clothes to wear, and selecting and stressing about all the clothes that you own isn't helping you in anything, maybe IF you're good at styling then a fake elevation in public perception is what you're getting. I used "fake" because if other aspects of your life are in a mess and people think highly of you, well, then it is a fake perception. Anyway, even taking care of your car, watering all the dozens of plants that you have or otherwise, they would die, can be extremely stressful collectively. Individually, they might seem like a small decision that you've to make every day but little by little that is causing you to have decision fatigue about which I'll talk about in a blog post later. But eliminating all of that stressful decision making feels liberating and immensely reduces the stress throughout the day.
"So, if it is so helpful at reducing your stress, then how can it be toxic for your mind?", you might be wondering.

How can Minimalism become toxic for your mind?

Well, humans were hunter gatherers and being able to find fruit used to make our ancestors as happy as you would get if you end up finding latest iPhone lying on the street. Well, I shouldn't talk about iPhone while talking about minimalism. Haha! But why was that fruit such a source of happiness? Survival. Sugar is rich in carbohydrates which is a huge energy store. Today, we do get happy when we have a cake but these sugary food products of modern day are overloaded with sugar which don't need in such high dosage and what are they? Let me answer, "Toxic for you". Excess of anything is toxic.
While talking about minimalism, everyone talks about reducing items that you own because they add stress in your life but very few people even mention that after few days or a couple of weeks you need to stop thinking about it a lot because that is adding stress too. After 8 days, 8 weeks or 8 months of consuming content related to Minimalism , if you're still constantly consuming it then you're having insecurities about "your minimalism". Stop looking for another "One Tip" about how to be a more minimalist person or worrying about "Am I doing minimalism correctly?".

And that might be applied to him which is recorded of Socrates, that he was able both to abstain from, and to enjoy, those things which many are too weak to abstain from, and cannot enjoy without excess. But to be strong enough both to bear the one and to be sober in the other is the mark of a man who has a perfect and invincible soul, such as he showed in the illness of Maximus. - Marcus Aurelius

If you NEED 14 underwears, don't buy 4 because some guy on reddit does that, maybe he does laundry every other day or maybe he's a filthy person. No, Mr. Reddit Guy, you're not. He is. Anyway, your questions regarding whether you should this or that from other random people who are facing the same problem as you, shows that you're looking for validation from other "Minimalists". There is nothing standardised about Minimalism.
I believe once you've incorporated the basics of Minimalism in your life, you should do with "minimalism related content" whatever you did with your physical items.

How many mugs does one family ‘need’...apparently the answer was 56!

what is the konmari method video

Die KonMari-Methode eignet sich trotzdem für alle, die ihre Wohnung intensiv ausmisten und sich selbst dabei etwas besser kennen lernen möchten. Selbst wenn du nicht viel Zeit hast, kannst du die Methode umsetzen. Wie klein du die Kategorien setzt, bleibt nämlich ganz dir selbst vorbehalten. Und auch wenn du nur eine Kategorie pro Woche schaffst, kommst du nach und nach zum Ziel. Nicht ... The KonMari Method is pro organizer Marie Kondo's minimalism-inspired approach to tackling your stuff category-by-category rather than room-by-room. The goal of the KonMari Method is to have a... Aufräumen nach der KonMari Methode von Marie Kondo: So hält man Ordnung für immer im Kleiderschrank, im Regal, in der ganzen Wohnung. The true goal of tidying is to clear away clutter so you can live the life you want. When you put your house in order using the KonMari Method™, you have no choice but to listen to your inner voice – because the question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life. When you reassess your belongings and organize your home, you set the stage for a huge transformation. This is the magic of tidying! What Is the KonMari Method? The KonMari Method encourages people to get rid of items that no longer have a purpose (or no longer "spark joy") and keep items that are purposeful and meaningful. It's a rather rigid method that might not be for everyone. The Container Store x KonMari . An exclusive collaboration uniting the storage and organization mastery of The Container Store with the tidy and joyful ethos of Marie Kondo! Shop Now > Free Shipping Over $150 – U.S. Mainland Organize the World Become a Consultant Registration for our springtime Virtual Consultant Certification Courses is now open – with early bird pricing! Learn More. Shop ... KonMari Method Step #4: After you’ve finished discarding, organize your space thoroughly and completely. In this step, you are just deciding where to put something or where to store it. “I have only two rules: store all items of the same type in the same place and don’t scatter storage space.” KonMari Method Step #5: Do it all in one go. “In Japanese, the term is ikki ni, or ‘in ... In drei Schritten zum aufgeräumten Zuhause: Wer sich an die Konmari-Methode von Aufräum-Guru Marie Kondo hält, hat die Ordnung bald fest im Griff. Vielleicht kann die KonMari-Methode Ihre Einstellung zum Aufräumen ändern. Diese wurde durch das Buch The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up von Marie Kondo bekannt und erfreut sich – trotz ihrer zugegebenermaßen drastischen Vorgehensweise – großer Beliebtheit. Wir erklären, wie die KonMari-Methode funktioniert, in welcher Reihenfolge Sie für Ordnung sorgen und welche Prinzipien für ... Konmari bedient sich dabei eines äußerst einfachen Prinzips, das nach und nach auf fünf Kategorien des persönlichen Besitzes angewendet wird. Sieh dir diesen Beitrag auf Instagram an . Ein Beitrag geteilt von Marie Kondo (@mariekondo) am Jun 13, 2017 um 7:10 PDT. Zunächst wird damit begonnen, den Kleiderschrank auszumisten. Hierfür werden alle Kleidungsstücke zusammengesucht und zu ...